Tuesday, 3 March 2009

TO JUDGE.... or NOT to JUDGE!!!... shouldn't even be a question....

Hey Sexy!

Yo! Guess who's back, back again... Sexy's back. Here to stay!! Aite, don't get your hopes up and all. I did say this might not last long. ADD kicks in and i get KICKED OUT!! Plus me writing in proper English is a real pain in the a**. So, when it gets to a point where I can tolerate this rubbish no more,...... you won't see me in a loooooong while. Hehe.. I have massive knee pain by the way *for all those of you that care*, It's so bad that climbing up the stairs is like going up Batu Caves. My moral support is hearing the "Vel Vel Vadivel" in my head as I go up. It's like Thaipusam all over again.

So,..... Topic of the day!!!!! Is it right to judge others? Before I continue, note that as much as I like to think I'm God,... im not.. I'm just like all you mortals. Only at times, i might show traces of immortality but you're not interested in that right now and I'll fit that in another post. THE IMMORTALITY WITHIN.. Okay, let's continue. Everybody today is all about judging. I judge you, you judge me, God judges us, and now it's gotten to a point where we judge God and His existence.

As I look at you
I try to find me,
I search your eyes
for traces of me,
my thoughts, my dreams,
Do you see with my eyes?
Is your speech laced with my words? No?
Then you are not me
You are another
One that's not me
One that can never be me.

Honestly,..... wth. Haha. Is this how we all are in the end? We set standards for others based on who we are. People who dress well judge those who don't and those who don't, well, they judge the ones that do. We ALL judge. This is an undeniable fact.

I have stood at a bus stop once (yes, I have been to a bus stop. Sometimes Jimbo, my car, and I have our differences and we need time apart to understand how we feel about each other. K k, it's not that. I was waiting for my car-less cousin at the damn stop), and I saw this girl with practically her whole ear pierced and she sported a pierced eyebrow, nose and lip as well. I told myself, "Damn, Goth la tu. Gangster sial....". And that's when it hit me. Who was I to say such things? What made me think that I was in a better position than her to pass judgments onto people? For all you know, my torn jeans and my messed up hair might have given her the idea that I was a roadside beggar. Can't blame her, I do give out that impression quite a lot but then again, who is she to pass judgment on me?

That's our problem. We seem to think that people should match up (or down) to our standards. But what we don't seem to get is that everyone's standard is different. Why am I ranting on about judgments and talking endlessly about it? Well, everything I say has a purpose. I don't talk without a purpose. And my purpose now is........ *shit..*... Wait, I must think..

Haha.. Sorry got side-tracked. I know my purpose now, I think. My purpose is to show that instead of judging,... look. Look at someone and search them for qualities that you find appealing. For the qualities that you can't relate to, try and understand them and most importantly, look at things from their point of view to relate to how they would see it. Don't judge. Because I feel that time spent judging can be used to actually get to know someone.

Relationships are built and relationships are nurtured, but it's things like judging that destroys the core of a relationship. I seem to make references to animals but seriously they are the best example here. Look at a herd of wild oxen. Each and every one of them are different. None of them are the same. But we don't see this difference because the oxen themselves don't waste time judging and segregating amongst themselves. They don't go around saying, "okay, lembu hitam sini. Yang coklat buruk tu pegi sana. Yang putih korang kat depan" or "damn, that black ox there thinks he's so gempak. TANDUK KARANG!".. They stand one for all, all for one. Why can't we be the same? Instead of accepting a person for who they are, we spend our times talking about how 'weird' or 'unconventional' they are.

I have judged people. And what saddens me is the fact that by doing so, I have lost the chance of actually getting to know them. It's like that stupid sign in the shop that sells fragile items:

Nice to see, nice to touch
Once broken considered sold.

I never liked those signs. Scary shit. It's like the signs were meant for me. All they need to do is add " ah Nimisha" after the "sold". My dad makes me stand outside shops like this because his wallet would be dry by the time we left the shop if I was in it. Bankrupt Gobi is NOT a happy Gobi.

Haha. Side-tracked again. But yea, this signs apply here as well:

Nice to talk, nice to judge
Once judged considered gone.

Doesn't rhyme but you get the gist of it. It spoils everything. Things will never be the same again and even if you wanted to, you cannot change how you previously felt about that person. It's hard not to judge though and it's like asking politicians to give up politics (too much monetary temptation. hehe) or asking the guy who threw the shoe at George Bush not to do it again (an idea too tempting to give up) or not wearing deodorant when going out or asking me to give up my Playstation. All these are things that are hard but not impossible (except that Playstation thing. Don't try asking me to do that unless you want to visit all four corners of UK... at the same time... I won't bother explaining>=))..

Judge not others in a way you would not like to be judged. Live a hypocritically-free life and you'll find a sense of peace within you. I have stopped judging people now. I wouldn't say stopped but basically reduced the quota and personally,.... it's a good feeling. I know people out there talk about me. Say bad things about me. Perhaps good things. Maybe they don't even talk about me and I'm just being perasan. Or maybe they think that I'm not the conventional character in your everyday life. But you know what,..... SCREW IT!!!

I don't care. I don't care about how the conventional character in your life resonates. And I don't want to be that conventional character. Why??????? Because in my life I AM THE CONVENTIONAL CHARACTER. And if I were to live my life the way everyone else does just so I can escape their judgments, then I would have A LOT of people to please. Each with their own version of what the conventional person is like. But in living life the way I want to, I won't judge you. I won't look at you any differently from the way I look at myself. Why?????? Because I will live by and embrace the idea that God created the concept of variation in his little artwork for a reason. I don't know what that reason is, but till I do, I will appreciate the difference I see in another person. No judging, only appreciation. And for what I can't accept, I will lay it aside and look at it no more. Call that living in denial but I don't think so. I call it LIVING IN REALITY. Learn to accept what you can't change.

Remember though, the difference that I speak of is not one of low moral values. Those cases are different. I'm speaking of the opinion differences and such. Better tell this now in case one day I see you fellas in a cell chatting happily with a sentenced murderer or lepaking at the back alley with a drug addict best friend. DON'T DO DRUGS!!

So yea, I have decided that I would rather not be a hypocrite and stay true to who I really am. People can judge me for it and that's fine. But I shall not stoop down to their level to get back at them. I wish them well though and hope Karma doesn't hit them where it hurts. Seriously... I will live a clean and clear Nimisha life and the best part about this if someone can look beyond my rowdy behaviour, my insensitive nature, my messy hair and my clumsiness and see ME, then.... I have found myself a friend for keeps.... To all you guys who have, know that I have seen YOU too and I accept YOU and I like YOU for who YOU are.

Peace Out;)