Fine fine, I'm BACK by HUGE demand!!! hehe. I was getting calls and all. People were crying and some were begging me to update my blog (see chatbox.. hehe;p). You see, the problem with me is when I see tears, I can't say no. And people were crying me a river. How the hell do I say no. Sigh,.... sometimes I think my purpose in life is to enlighten the world.. Hey would you look at that. Even the Blog name thing is about enlightenment. I ROCK!!
Usually I would by now say, "okay, enough about me. I know you're all getting bored.. bla bla bla.." But today is your lucky day!! I'm not saying all that. Today, S'ALL ABOUT ME!!... Well, I did warn you this day would come. For those of you who can't handle to much self-love and praise, or those of you who feel that narcisism is an incurable disease that is fatal, the doors are still open. RUN WHILE YOU CAN!! Cos, beyond this point, it gets wicked!!! hehehe;P
I stand before a mirror,
I see me.
I look away from the mirror,
but I turn to glance at me.
Me is all I see.
But the question stares me in the eye
What do I see?
Basically I leave you to judge me for the kind of person that I am. I did write a post on judging others up above but to judge or not is your choice. I won't judge you for judging me. Why am I so caught up on me? Seriously, when I walk past shop windows, I don't look into those damn windows to see the display. I'll leave that to the mortals. I am so busy checking myself out that sometimes I fail to realise what shop I'm looking into. Once I was so busy doing what I do best (I looked super sexy that day.... sigh) and then I realised I was making faces at a punjabi security guard. From that experience, I take it that Punjabis may not be too tolerant to sexy people. Hehe. But yea, my point is, I seem to land myself in trouble a lot with this disease. I scared a grandma in a car by looking in. Poor old lady nearly died that day. My disease nearly killed someone.
Is it wrong though? The fact that I am too caught up on myself? I don't seem to think so. My friend once asked me to rate myself from a 1 to 10 and without thinking, I said 10!!!!.. Then I felt really horrible and bad... I mean how could I just say I was a 10 without thinking thoroughly about the wrinkles at the sides of my eyes, the freckles on my nose and the fact that I have enough hair to donate to Batu Caves for two Thaipusams in a row.... So,.... sigh..... I did the most honourable thing... I looked at my friend and I told her.... "Dude..... I'd like to change my answer.... I don' think I'm a 10...... sigh..... im.... a ...... 9.5!!"... That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And I did it. *looking forward to the torrents of "congratulations"* hehe..
Like I said, I don't think it's a bad thing. I mean obviously all of you would say,"duh, she loves herself. how can that be bad".. But it's not just that. I feel that when I can look at myself in the mirror and instead of finding flaws I try to look at the awesome aspects of me, I can look at others and pick out the wonderful aspects in them.. Let me give you an example. No prizes for what kind of example I'm going to use. Yes yes, animals!!... I said it once before, I'll say it again, animals are silent creatures of God which hold many answers if we know where to look....... K that sounded a bit wrong but never mind. Btw, I have a funny feeling I'm going to heaven. I don't know why but it's a random thought... Aiyoh, so excited!!;D
See the females of any animal... They are the most peransanted things in the world. You see this butt ugly baboon. Hehe, ironic ah.. BUTT... BABOON... get it!! haha.. -_- never mind.. She has a split tail and her 'apple bottom' butt and her 'boots with the fur' are not as spectacular as the other baboon chicks. But she thinks she deserves just the same as the other sexier baboons. There is self love right there. You don't see the other hot baboons go, "wei, buntut kau tak merah mcm I punya" or "oi, beratur la. yang baboon buruk busuk tu paling belakang. geli giler makan kutu dia. entah mane dia pegi lepak", during their spa treatment with other baboons while taking their handbags and walking with their red asses in the air. You see baboons don't do that. They seem to think they are all that and they don't look down on those who may not be as good looking as them. Which explains why when you ask them who's the ugliest of the lot, they never stop staring at you and there's complete silence while they ALL stare at you. They NEVER stare at each other. Either that, or they didn't understand my question. Can't be that I was the one whom they thought was ugly... hehe... *gulp*;(
The previous paragraph is quite disturbing since I did mention that the baboons were sexy. I just looked at a couple of baboon pictures and they weren't sexy... But you get the idea;)... Anyway, I hope you see where I'm going with this. When I look at myself and I like what I see, it's easier for me to look at others and like what I see. Some of you may beg to differ but that's just the way I look at things. Like I mentioned before, I am not the conventional character. So if you find this way of thinking weird, your consolation would be that it's coming from an equally twisted soul. But that's me for you. I like looking at the good side of people and not their bad. I love giving people the benefit of the doubt. When I see someone who thinks lowly of herself, I ask myself, "Why can't she/he see what I see in her/him?". Is it because I see things differently? Or is it that they choose not to see it? Or is it because I see so much in me that I like that I'm inclined to do the same with others? I prefer to think it's the third reason.
Despite saying all this, there is one thing that I don't really like in me... *NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! gasps.... U DON'T SAY!!*.... hehe.. Well yea, there is one thing. I don't like the fact that I can't express how I feel at times. I may be angry or sad or something and instead of confronting the issue, I choose not to deal with it. My excuse would be, 'this too shall pass'. How many 'this's have come and gone and I'm still here saying the same thing. Instead of dealing with a conflict, I look to see if I, in the position of the other person would have done things differently. If no, I forget what has happened and I take a chill pill. If it's a yes,..... there's never been a yes actually. Haha. I always seem to find a reason to make it a no. You see, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but that's the way I like it. I'm sure if something really bothers me to the max, I would deal with it and so far, there's been nothing to that extent. So s'all goooood!!!;)))
My point today is, despite talking about me, baboons and kutu, look at yourself in a different light. Instead of looking for pimples and oil residue on your face, look at the little things that make your face glow. How that wrinkle at the side if you eyes makes your laugh extra nice to look at, how the freckles on your nose add on to your character and how that mass of curly hair on your head would keep people guessing about your nationality. Check your personality out and rejoice that you are the only one in the world that has that personality. Enjoy the fact that you may be completely random or not, or that you may be a kuning minded person that would keep your friends in stiches,..... anything. Enjoy every aspect of yourself at least for a day and you will find that your perception would differ a little because immediately everything else seems to shine as well.
It's kinda cool actually cos when you think you are all that, you immediately lose the sense of wanting to look better than others (even though you probably might not be bt wth). No jealousy, no competition, just you and the world. All in all, it's best when you think you're awesome cos in the end, only you will remain a constant element in your life;)))